avi daisies circle crop

 

For all my life I’ve heard the beat of a different drum.

But I only danced to it when nobody was watching.
Because I was always told that Art as a career was not an option.
I was told it wasn’t a “real job”. I spent my time living in the “comfort zone” – squeezing myself into other people’s suits, fitting whatever creative pursuits I had into the space at the sides of my life. Except my comfort zone wasn’t really all that comfortable – it always smelled of dissatisfaction.

I changed jobs a lot; I shifted focus. I partied a lot too.

One day, I went to a networking event. It had the usual array of inspirational talks and pictures of big houses and fancy cars, and I came away thinking

 

“Wow, I can do anything!”

 

– I just had to follow their method. I spent time dreaming big – the clothes, the shoes, the lifestyle…

But those riches were always so disconnected from my reality; forever unattainable. And their ‘method’ was beyond me. So I didn’t. Deep down, I never believed I could ever get “there”. So, more jobs.

But the push to Art kept on pushing me. I took the plunge and went to uni as a mature-age student; several years and a scholarship later, I emerged with a PhD in Fine Arts. I was happy as a clam. All that time, I dreamt of afterwards when I’d be teaching adults in the halls of academia. I had purpose, and it was blissful.

Funding at the university shifted; the course changed, and I never got that job.

I taught high school instead. (Please don’t ever put me in front of a group of angsty teenagers again; I have the utmost respect for those of you who can do this.)

I welcomed babies into my life. Parenting is a joy – and a mixed bag of frustrations, with its constant focus on the details of daily life. I needed something outside. I started an Etsy shop. I started a blog. I started another blog.

I joined too many groups, read too many business articles titled “three easy steps”, because of course they had the answer that I didn’t.

Blog/join/read, and repeat.

I’d tried so many things in my life. “Real” jobs were dissatisfying (or worse), and making money as an artist/maker seemed too hard and slow. So I’d kept moving, feeling ever more hopeless about my inability to stick to anything.

But I did go to another conference. And when the speaker asked “Who says you need to stop? ” it floored me. How could I be so tough on myself? Why was I holding myself back?

Why was I such a wimp? I never used to be.

Right there I discovered I didn’t have to stop.
Right there I discovered I could be me.

And I discovered my “thing”. It’s Beauty.

 

Beauty is my mission.

 

Beauty takes a million forms; each one no more or less lovely than another, and each one true to itself.
Beauty is my boat on the sea of life; it carries my every dream, and it carries my every passion.
Beauty is my weapon. It’s my swiss army knife, my light sabre, and my ‘force’.

Because beauty makes us happy, and happiness is worth having.

 

So here I am, full of life experience, and full of vision. Because I can be me.

I’m a teacher, a facilitator and an interpreter of sorts. And as much as I can make things beautiful for you, it’s not going to make as much change as if I teach you how to do it for yourself.

I truly want the world to be a prettier place. So I give my skills to you, because you can change the world.